This morning T is in tears because I am going to pay him to do his chore, clean the leaves & dog poo off the patio. Money he is trying to earn to go Christmas shopping with Ninny. When I asked him why he is crying, he says it is because he hates chores. In my normal fashion, I semi-yell about all the things that I hate to do, but do anyway.
He goes out & begins and comes in almost as quickly. He's done, only he isn't. There are leaves everywhere. With a fresh batch of tears I send him back outside. Repeat. I finally tell him that I don't care how long it takes he is not done until the leaves are gone...all of them.
It strikes me, especially after the week we've had, that I am raising a group of self entitled brats. They want stuff, but don't want to do anything to EARN it. Does it just hit home more during this time of year...the giving season?
I sit at the computer typing and I can hear T crying from here and I am torn. There is a part of me that wants to go comfort my baby. Then there is the part of me, the one that works so hard for my family, that wants to go yell at him to stop! I take M's advise and leave him alone.
All the thoughts I have had recently are brought to the forefront again...is it me, is it kids being kids, where have we gone wrong. I am fairly certain that it is a combination of it all. Part of me screams at myself...be the example!! I feel like the failure here. I know I need to be tougher, I need to require more, follow through, let them be kids, show them how its done, do it for them, let them enjoy being young, crack the whip...I am so confused!!
I don't know if I will ever figure it out! It seems so difficult in today's world, to teach my children how to become respectful, loving, helpful, law abiding, contributing members of society. But I will try!!